Misguided Ghosts
by jinxed-lulu
Summary: This is an outtake for my story, "Saving Grace." It takes place early on, and is in Edward's POV.


**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N:** Unlike my story – _Saving Grace_ – this is in Edward's POV. Once that story was complete, I wanted to be able to explore his mind a little bit. As he isn't really as much of a dick as he comes off as.

**Outtake**

**Misguided Ghosts**

"_The darkest hour only has sixty minutes." ~ Morris Mandel_

I was only glad to be home from the hospital, just so I could relax. Well as much relax as you can get in a war zone. I never took off my blank mask at home, if Bella didn't want to know how my life was, why show any emotion? I never knew what was waiting for me behind that door, would I be ignored today? Would I even see her face? Bella really liked to hide from me. That annoyed the shit out of me. I didn't even fucking feel like a husband anymore, just a man living in a house with a woman he didn't know. Strangers; the word hurt.

"Bella?" I called into the house per usual.

"I'm in the living room," her voice broke, I was surprised, I usually didn't get an answer. I couldn't tell if this was good or bad.

So I said all my brain could think of, "Okay…"

Bella turned to look at me, and she looked frightened, and I hated it, "Uh Edward. Could we talk?" She bit down on her lip; hard. I hated that we had to ask eachother to talk, we were married for fuck's sake.

"Umm…sure?" It came out more like a question, she didn't seem so sure like she wanted to talk. Even after I agreed, she looked like I kicked her dog.

Bella cleared her throat, "You see…I…ummm," she shook her head, "I talked to Rosalie today, and…I realized I'm ready to talk," she finished with a nod.

I narrowed my eyes in anger. What. The. Fuck. Why couldn't she fucking talk to me on her own. She really needed moral support to talk to her goddamn husband? I didn't even want to believe this was our fucking life anymore, but it seems like Bella was better at ignoring it then me. Who even knew if she loved me anymore!

I couldn't stop the humorless laugh that escaped, it was harsh and bitter, "Oh! So, now you want to talk to me?" I spat with venom, "What made you see the fucking light Bella? 'Cause I can't make heads or tails of this shit anymore!" I couldn't hold in my anger any longer. I knew that I could possibly be scaring her in my rage – but I needed to vent. And there she was.

I saw her bring her index fingers to her temples and take a few deep breaths. "I realized that my silence is only making things worse… and I'm sorry about that."

"Your goddamn right, your silence doesn't get us anywhere! _Look_ at us, Bella!" Inside I knew that I should put the sole of the blame on her shoulders. It was just caught in the heat of another argument, and I was adamantly lost.

"Edward please, stop yelling," she pleaded. "It won't help us now."

I couldn't help the sardonic smirk that crossed my face, if I even tried. "Fine Bella, say what you need to say. I'll listen unlike you." I knew that I was being an asshole – but really if the person whose constantly running away from the problem has a solution, it is quite ironic.

"Okay, our problems started with you're job…" I cut her off with a harsh laugh.

"My _job_. Really how selfish can you get?" I added in a mumbled to low for her to hear, "you are not _my_ Bella."

"Will you just fucking listen to me!" She spat, "Not the motherfucking job per se, more like you always getting paged. It took time from important evens in our marriage! I knew…"

I cut her off again, "Well Bella, where do you think the money comes from to pay for our house? To pay the bills?" My voice laced with venom, "Really Bella I had to work."

That really got her going, and I was almost sorry. "Oh, so my job doesn't mean a goddamn thing? I didn't help with fucking bills huh?" she barked a humorless laugh, "Fuck you, Edward."

"That's not what I ment and you know it, Bella," I shook my head at her.

"Really?" She asked, "Hmmm, how's Tanya? Is that why you liked her, 'cause she made more money?" It was a low blow, and I knew she was hurt.

My jaw dropped, and my eyes widened in shock, "You really think I cheated with her don't you?" I was shocked. I never knew that she thought I would ever do that to her. After all that I had to do just to get her on a date with me.

"Maybe. How am I supposed to know anything anymore?" She asked

"Well why do you fucking care? You had Jacob on those cold nights alone!" I spat, and did I ever know that was low. But she just always had some connection with him that I just couldn't compete with.

"Seriously, Edward, you think I was with Jake?" She shook her head, "No, he came over for someone to talk to who wasn't too involved in our lives. Then he also helped with work around the house that I couldn't do and you weren't here for!" She had started screaming now - it wouldn't be too long before this whole thing blew up in our faces.

"What the fuck do you mean 'wasn't too involved in our lives'?" I asked.

"Are you that damn dense Edward?" She spat, "Alice is your sister, Emmett is my brother, and then their spouses? That was too close for comfort, they couldn't give me sound advice."

My eyes narrowed in anger, "So I am supposed to be okay with you telling Jacob about the problems in our marriage?" I raised one brow.

She sighed, "I didn't go in deeply. Just around the edges, I needed someone to talk to, and you talked to Tanya so don't put this on me!" Bella screeched.

"No, Bella, I didn't talk to Tanya." Why was she even hung up about Tanya? Bella had to know that with of the adoration that I showered her with, no one could ever come close to her in my eyes.

"Oh, so now your going to sit there and lie to me?"

I pinched the bridge of my nose, "I am not lying to you Bella. If you can't believe me than that's your problem."

I knew that we were reaching the end of the fight. Any minute now it would be the end - then we'd continue on ignoring each other again. I wanted to fix us... I just didn't know how.

Bella sighed. "Okay Edward, I know what I, need to do now," she sounded resigned.

"What?" I asked annoyed.

"I'm leaving," she said, "I can't stay here anymore. I'm not happy, and you aren't either."

With those words she broke me, "What?" He asked again, "Why? Bella you don't have to leave! Where will you go? When?" I was lost. How could I continue to live without my heart, my soul - my very being.

"We need this Edward. I do have to leave, and I'll stay with Charlie. I will probably leave tommorrow."

My eyes burned, I knew that I was crying and I didn't care. "So you're leaving me? Can't we work this out… please?"

A histerical giggle escaped her. "Yes, we will work this out. It's not a perment leave, unless we can't work this out, but it needs to be done."

"Okay, I guess," I was utterly defeated in this moment, "I'll just get ready for bed. I'll sleep on the couch tonight… Bella, I'm sorry…" I could never tell her just how sorry that I was. Sorry that I couldn't fix it, sorry that I wasn't a good enough husband. Just sorry for everything.

"I know." Bella said, "We'll work this out somehow."

With that Bella walked away. Leaving me to face my darkest hour alone.


End file.
